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as the warrior ages, the very thing that made him great are the same things that make him isolated and cause suffering….. a reply to someone about values and the price of honor…..

Posted in special forces training, body guard, judo, tai chi, punching, kicking, blocking, stick fighting, knife fighting, kung fu, ninjutsu,, Uncategorized on July 10, 2018 by thebrutalityofreality

as i get older and more helpless.  For the first time ever,  in my life i have to  pay for help and now my ego hurts.

I have to take a lot of crap from inferior assholes,  i have to bow to young losers who know nothing of suffering , self sacrifice , or battle.   I have to let them insult me,  challenge me,  throw me down,  because i am afraid of the law  and they know it.  i get no praise for being better, i get no honors because i lack the “paper” that honor seems to be written on these days instead of earned thru deed.     I have to accept that i an no longer in control as i once was.  To lead warriors who put their very lives on your word is indeed and honor,  to be willing to sacrifice what you have to for a brother, a friend,  A STUDENT…..  that is honor ,,,  that is worth praise,   but these days the soft youth is in control and i hate it.  They don’t want to learn,  they don’t understand anything but apps.   they lack honor, integrity, and most of all,   they have no soul,  for the soul is the reflection of character,   and character must be forged thru suffering, sacrifice, and success where others would certainly fail…..   but these weak being are taking over……
i could kill these punks with a finger maybe 2 fingers
but i cant’ becasue i’ll get arrested
i hate it
i feel like a victim all the time
in order to fit in i have to “fit” in
and that means be a loser like everyone else….  and i can’t  ,   i refuse,   and there fore i must be isolated and unhappy…….     why?    I saw this when I was a young man,  breaking into some high risk security and other “special” things,    the older guys were,   what i am now becoming….   something i wanted to avoid,  but it’s part of the journey i guess,  it’s not fair,  it;’s not pleasant,  it’s not welcomed,  but it is…..   inevitable.

the security guys i knew when i first go into the “special” shit
they were all isolated
i used to say all the time
too much knowledge is a dangerous thing
a couple would say
you are a wise man for your age
i was 30
now i say too much knowledge and experience

knowledge alone is not enough,  it’s the experiences,   the vision of long ago that seems like it’s happening right now,   the smells, the tastes,   all the senses experiencing what happened long ago,   it’s that experience coupled with the knowledge that leads to the truth,   and that truth is very very hard to embrace.   the world is cruel,  animals suffer so much, people are so rotten in so many ways,   the shroud of illusion is lifted to reveal the harsh reality………   even eating becomes a task of sorrow for i know the suffering of the animal that died.  The weak mind has  no thought of the animals feelings  the suffering in the name of production,  how many have ever taken the time to watch vids of how cruel they are killed?  how they kick and scream as they are cut up while still alive and feeling???   no the weak mind will not even look.   the weak mind will not ponder it,  the weak mind will make up some excuse to avoid the dirty truth,  the weak mind says,  they are here for us to eat,   i don’t think of that,  and other denials,   but the warrior,  he cannot deny what he has experienced and what the knowledge and experience makes him realize about how cruel life is,  and for no reason most times other than laziness.     Knowledge is dangerous ,   but without experience ,  it’s just a thought,  only thru experience does knowledge become real,   become infallible,  it becomes the truth that denies excuses and fulfills what the warrior hopes won’t come…..

the experience takes away the fantasy everyone lives by , it takes away excuses people use to get up another day
it takes away the illusions of life and forces you to look at the most ugly truth

and now it’s me
i think if i had’t given it all up for ex
all to keep her safe so no one would ever try to hurt her to hurt me
i would have been better off
honor has been my undoing
friendship my weakness , the lie i could never see thu
i pray and pray hoping God will just make things go right because  i’m too stupid to make the right choice
but seems i get sicker, coughing right now cant’ breathe
cant’ get out of bed, so sick every day cant’ sleep , but feel ok at night
just like the “guys”
always up all night
for some reason we all hate the sun, the morning
i have a theory on it

i think it’s time for me to just shrink away
the problem is i need a friend, i need talking,
someone to hang with

and no one is there
just like them
what made me strong and successful now is my haunting

my ex was the only one who was there for all of it
it cant’ be explained now, cant’ be relived- i’m old

i used to find pride in obscurity but now i just feel cheated

my question , from a guy who was a real life spy,  i was in my 20/s    he was in his 60/s
he said who are the best spies,
who were the greatest
i couldn’t answer it
and i always posed it to all my students
and anyone who really wanted a profound lesson about ‘things’

what do you think????
who were the greatest spies ever?????



what do you think of?

james bond,    some guy you saw get an award in the pubic eye?

do you think the heros are on plaques and have their pictures hanging somewhere>??

whether it’s a teacher who changes someone’s life,  a friend who was there when no one else was,   or someone involved in the most serious of matters……  who are the greatest warriors,    spies   ,    greatest people ever?????


the answer was…..





we’ll never know only the bad ones got caught

and that’s a life lesson
who are the greatest people
who are the smartest and more philosophical
no one knows
because the true warriors live in isolation and want to forget rather than brag
the true warriors are just tired, tired of being picked on for being better by those who are ignorant losers
the true warriors are not to be found in public forums, corner shops, commercial dojos in strip malls,
the true warriors , are , as they have always been, a ghost that appears when needed by the weak and cast away , back to the shadows when there is no fear, no need of protection, no need of their service,
no thanks, no honors, no recognition
to a young man the honor is enough , but to the older warrior, scarred from battle both physically and emotionally, it’s not a enough, there’s the nagging question…….. would i do it all over again, knowing the pain i have now????
and for some reason ,,,,,

the answer is always yes


something i said off the cuff to a dismissed student

Posted in Uncategorized on June 6, 2018 by thebrutalityofreality

a room with a door that you cannot see is just a prison


Posted in Uncategorized on April 7, 2018 by thebrutalityofreality

this guy was accepted as a student,  but the very first class quit,  he’s searching for him self and cannot find it.  we have become close,  he told me he could never be my student  ,   that was his response when i pointed out that everyone he talks about is called by title,   MR.    SENSEI,   MASTER,        but iwas just referred to by my name

just my name    no titile

i pointed out that i failed in being good enough to be his teacher,  i failed because clearly i am not good enough to have his respect as others are,  i am not nor will i ever be more then just the guy he met at the gym punching the steel or beating my shins.

today he came over with his pressure washing rig,  that’s his business and washed my very large cement areas for free,   when i asked what i can do for him ,  he said ,   a couple steaks,   the rest will be self evident as to the relationship we have

he is one of the most intuitive, smart, philosophical prospects i have come across,  clearly in the top 5 of all time,   but he never accepted me as his teacher,  though he does credit me with making his life so much better in so many way,

that’s what a teacher does,   instructors instruct ,   make fighters,  teachers teach about life,   set the example

the first part is a humble offering to him for his generous help , the second part is the knowledge he is searching for……..


you always said that you felt like if you helped me that you had the right to ask for knowledge

or something to that affect,

i always said,   no need to barter    i offered teaching freely  because you were the one who could “hear” it and appreciate it

little gold mines yoiu say

so thinking about today

yiou brought up martial arts after you were done

perhaps that was you saying   i helped now i have questions

ormaybe not

in any case   i want you to know  i actually listen

and value your friendship enough to give it thought

so if that wasn’t it,   no problem    i was just showing humble gratitude

if so

then what can i help with

you talked abotu closing distance

sorry i misunderstood you and from now on will not assume you are talking in absolutes,  merely the moment as it relates to a topic

without trying to be a teacher,  as you stated yoi would never be my student

and i respect that

and would never try to act as such

but if you want to explore the closing distance issue

i would say   time and space are not relevant to this reality we perceive

time and space as it relates to the fight can be manipulated by movement

in particular indexing to angles as you have talked about

but the time it takes to do it like kempo says or the generic way is so off

takes soooooo much time

it’s not manipulating time and space,  merely existing within it

the key is ,   like i always say   ,   live in the future

appear to be super fast but actually you have time    because you have the experience,  the foresight to know the future or at least the odds of what will happen

therefore   the reality of time and space is much different for you then the enemy

you move slow and have options,  your hits are targeted and internal

the enemy is in disarray and cannot function with “rhythm”   they are not sure,   not fluid,  and their hits are merely surface attacks that can be brushed off,  a mental distraction not damage to the body or “person”

movement that is too broad or too fast in 1 direction is nothing more than trying to move faster then your enemy

the key to manipulation is  “intuition”   the chi knows all and directs the mind to direct the body,  therefor it appears that you live in a reality of ultra fast reaction and timing,   when in fact,  you are slower then your enemy ,   just more skilled,  more accurate,  more fluid,  more “feeling” knowing his weakness and seeing his mistakes in your minds eye,   not in your physical reality as he does.

closing distance,  opening distance,   it’s not important,   if you think of it in terms of distance,    you will miss the picture,

it’s not distance,   IT’S SPACE………


Posted in Uncategorized on July 18, 2017 by thebrutalityofreality

rather than get into a long discussion as i usually do ,  I hope this short transmission of emails drives home a good point.

This guy was in interview for 2 years ,   I saw him at the gym frequently , and as is my protocol,  no one just comes to class.   I conduct a long interview, most of which they don’t even know is going on so I know they are not giving false info or trying to impress. He finally was invited to class and the 2nd class said he just can’t commit

ok  but we remain in contact, workout at the gym,  talk,  he has helped me with projects around the house and we talk alot about martial arts.

saturday night,  we talked for about 3 hrs.  he’s very well studied in philosophy, religion, and many other topics.  He’s very intuitive and would have made a great student , but he cannot stay on topic.  At the end of the conversation,  he asked how I can control myself and not just haul off and beat people up.  He sees the shit comments i get at the gym for training as i do,   they dont’ understand it,  and have no honor in their lives.  My first reply was,   i’m afraid of the cop that comes after i hit them.    Now that’s a pretty true statement,   but i wrote this to him for a more complete reply.

thought maybe it would give someone a good thought to ponder.    Though this is about martial arts,   i think the whole blog site is applicable to every day life.



forward aggression is a weakness   not a strength

being prepared to deal with attack ,  violence,  hurt, pain, loss,


not a pass time or a 3 hr class……..

the reality from the beginning of time is that there are people who will try to harm you,  in words, in actions, or by exploiting your fears and attacking your insecurities,   limited training , no training will only produce forward aggression

training the correct way gives you a character that just lets people know  “maybe i shouldn’t screw with this one”

it’s all thru nature   all thru the world,   the weak only have 2 options,  retreat or be aggressive,   either is the path of the loser

without the physical body   the mind and techniques are useless, without the conditioned mind,  the body and techniques are useless, without the endless practice,  the mind and body are useless,  even if all 3 are in peak shape,   the reality of violence is often ignored…

that means the training is not real, and that means the defense is not real.   there are no options/choices

as with karate,   it teaches to hit   not to resolve yet the core teaching  is not to fight

but it doesn’t give the options      boxing is only to hit,    you get the point

however in the old style japanese jiu jutsu,  it incorporates sooo many techniques and battle tested ways,  it gives options.

there are weapons, joint locks, punches, blocks, kicks, pressure points, arm bars, take downs, throws,   and so much more,

the “options/choices” allow the practitioner to employ what is needed at the moment to produce the desired outcome.

the system is vast and requires many many years,    i’m in my 42nd year now and still learning and evolving

so now i have options/choices,       but the mind/ego is what must grow with the techniques –  not just destructive power

little training and small minds who cling to the bullshit fantasy of their skills can only retreat or show aggression

they have no options no choices

they think they know all aspects of violence,   they take short cuts and have no tolerance for study or pain,   they dont’ know their own breaking points because ego will not allow it,

they cannot accept themselves,   they cannot see themselves as they are   only what they want to be

and thru that arrogance they never become that

i was a small sick kid   the truth hurts, but i saw myself as i was,  as a child,  as a youth, in my 20s, 30/s and now 40s pushing 50’s

only thru the hurtful truth of how lacking i was ,  slow to develop, always sick,  was i able to become what i am and still know i have so much further to go if life continues……

rarely in civilian life is anyone faced with life /death choices that have to be made on the spot,  there is always a doctor or someone to fall back on and blame later,  only thru carrying the burden of choices,   some right and some wrong   …  when they are very hard choices,   there’s a burden to carry thru life,   that changes your character,   once you know big things,  what others think are big,   aren’t really so big any more    

sometimes the right choice is viewed as barbaric ,  evil,   unforgiving,     others cannot understand that moment

the burden you carry from those things  are part of training,   the acceptance,   the awareness that your actions produce things that cannot be changed once acted upon    the same concept is true for fighting,  for using a technique,    the action will be a burden

but the lazy ones who never really attain any skills,   they never have this problem, because they are training in fantasy  ,   back to , they only have retreat or aggression.

the average person cannot disconnect emotions from the violence,  therefor they cannot de escalate   nor can they use tactics

the loser hobby asshole says,   “i go for quick kill techniques”     only a loser goes from 0 to kill

again no options/ choices,      and they can’t pull it off anyway,

the professional has skills that allow no violence, no injury, thru the levels to the end,   but it’s one of many options/ choices

,  not the only option

the average person  thru lack of experience and training will be very emotional in very drastic scenarios.    look on tv,   they interview people who have no injury but witnessed a murder or horrific crash,   they are crying   emotional,   they cannot disconnect ,  they have fear even though they are not in danger.     conversely the media person for the police or fire department,    they are calm and state facts without emotion,   they are able to disconnect thru experience,

you have to develop a sort of on/off mode,      calm, nothing wrong,   but when a threat comes,   act accordingly

so many times people tried to trip me up,   sneak up on me,   grab me,    i always assess the threat,  i basically do nothing because there is no threat by their actions,    the loser is so indulged in his “ability”   he will lash out.   no choice/option

learning to deal with pain is such an important part of training and life in general,   but in modern training  there is no pain  only injuries by mistake,     there’s a very large difference between accidental pain,  and pain you know will be inflicted on you with intent and purpose.      the first time someone feels pain ,   bad pain,   emotions take over ,    and they shut off or freak out.

thru the proper training,   pain will become familiar ,  emotions taken out of it,   your body will function as long as it can and wont’ function when it can’t function any longer,   but emotions wont’ shut you down,  fear wont’ stop you …..

and that’s a large part of dealing with assholes,    when you experience enough pain,   a new outlook takes over,   a confidence,   you know if you engage,   he will react to pain,   but you will not react the same as you are familiar with pain…..

all part of the “stew” of training……

thru the many years of training   its a big strew of contributing factors

in the early years    there is only how much power do you have    how much can you deliver

the point to be proven

in later years,   the confidence comes and you feel that you can win without inflicting too much damage

but this only comes thru actual experience that hardens you to words and allows you to see the inner enemy

then many years later    if you study hard   train hard    if you make great progress

if you have been in many real scenarios,  experienced pain, defeat, humiliation,  and all the suffering that comes with real engagements ..

then you have choices           this cannot be found in “hobby – i do it on tues. ”   commercial martial arts training  

preparing for violence   training in the true warrior arts,   requires you to be a leader,  not a follower,   you must shed the lies of society, of politics, and see what “is”    when you accept the darkest side of humanity,   only then  can you see past optimist/pessimist


only thru immersing yourself in the most real encounters can you gain the confidence and wisdom,  that cannot be found in commercial dojos,  you have to experience what you say you are training for,  martial “military” training cannot be done without experiencing fear,

only thru that fear,  can you learn how to manage fear,

you must accept the reality of death, of injury, of many things,

shooting at the range is a hobby,   it’s not combative training,  only putting yourself in harms way can you actually train and learn to manage fear,   but you can’t go to a public range and have your friend shoot 10” from your head to know what it’s like to get shot at,  and if you could,   you really have to trust your buddy.    the same for true combative training,  you must be in vulnerable positions, many times get hurt,   and endure,   there are no days off,  no where to run,   but in modern times,  everyone can stop and no consequence,   back to ,   it’s a daily job,    push to the limits daily

the young man says    ‘respect me”    at this age    who gives a shit

i dont’ much care what someone thinks of me when i think they are a piece of shit themeselves

a gun is not the answer   it’s another tool    it’s how well can you use it    not just hit a static target but how well can you move your body,  move under stress,   the whole bucket

the punch is like the gun   it’s not the answer   it’s how well you can move your body   how well you have conditioned

you ask how i stand there hitting the pole infront of everyone    how do i not care what they say or think…    fuck them

they are losers   i’m not there to impress them    they are far beneath me

i have the right to feel that because i have paid the price,  suffered   trained    and i have the experience

suffering builds character     and only thru suffering and sacrifice can you earn the right to feel a certain way and no one who has not endured the same can dispute it

my hands are hard    my hits are hard      that little jerk who tells everyone he can kill someone with 3lbs of pressure,  he doesnt’ like me,  he told me when i was friendly to him about his training,

‘i didnt’ want to waste 30years training in bullshit,  i just wanted to learn how to kill”

should i just beat the shit out of him?   ask him to use his 3lbs of pressure to save his life/??   then the cops come and i have no life

fuck him and his 3lbs of pressure,   he is weak, a small mind with no success or talent,

and he’s never killed anyone with 3lbs of pressure

but that’s not the point      my skills give my options,/ choices

i have been in many confrontations that i can control    no damage,  some damage    a lot of damage

and some times i just got beat up bad     there is no promised victory    but even in losing, losing bad there is much to be gained….

my scars show my experience,   my scars are my rank, not some paper or trophy….

only thru skill is this possible

but when skill is  lacking   only aggression remains

when reason fails    only violence remains    you can only retreat and hope the aggressor will show kindness to you

you have no power

however,   just because you have violent resolve at your disposal    that is not the answer either

having the choice is the solution     there is no aggression   no violence    no fear no action from reaction

only the “choice”   the option   of the best resolve

my younger years,   i was full of aggression because i was full of fear

now ,   i dont’ much care about ego,   have nothing to prove   i’ve proven it and no one has the right to know what i’ve proven

there is nothing i have to show,    character should show thru on it’s own

but i keep people at a distance for good reasons

wisdom from study ,    from philosophy gives me the insight to see past the outer person

many times people are so conflicted inside,  so why get into it?

only thru the real training can you see   “into ” people

it’s not only for the combative side,   it’s to avoid combat

i’ll leave off with ben franklins poem

the nail could be the “KILLING TECHNIQUE”

in seeking absolute victory    everything will be lost

“For the want of a nail the shoe was lost,
For the want of a shoe the horse was lost,
For the want of a horse the rider was lost,
For the want of a rider the battle was lost,
For the want of a battle the kingdom was lost,
And all for the want of a horseshoe-nail.”

a reply to a student that I thought so profound it was worth posting, ……..

Posted in Uncategorized on June 16, 2017 by thebrutalityofreality

though this will not make sense in the context in which i meant it to any who have not trained with me,   I feel that it is profound enough to make anyone who has wisdom take this and formulate something that will be meaningful in your own life,   it doesn’t have to be martial arts,  it’s just the concept i think many will get something from…..

the reply was in reference to blocks and movement from Uechi Ryu that he is now starting to learn,  but he has studied the old jiu jutsu with me for almost 10 years,   my continual message to everyone who wishes to train,   they ask  ” how long does it take to master the art?”     I tell them i don’t know because i haven’t reached mastery yet,  but if they study hard , practice daily for 10 years,   then, and only then , can i begin to teach them.     He is now bordering being teachable.   a far different way of teaching then the commercial places where belts are handed out like certificates at drug programs……….

any block strike,  movement   as long as it’s compound ,  can be tested as to it’s validity and effectiveness thru the intricate subtle movements of joint controls

it will not work for single motions    like a single punch or block    only in the context of continual movement as in a counter defense

it is the old aikijutsu that has been lost

the uech wa uke,   the push

if we do it their way   it is a single point movement

the block will not serve to move into a new position or movement

however  ,   done my way ,   with the flavor of the jutsu

we can empirically test without interference, the movement  –  is it just a single limb or single muscle?   or does it incorporate the whole body movement and angular/ linear movement from the basis of tai chi and the jutsu

anything can be made into a wrist control,   from weapons , swords, empty hand,   to blocking and avoidance

if  the movement cannot be translated easily into a viable joint lock,  then it is a weak movement without knowledge of the “path’ that will only work with extreme power, luck , and overwhelming rather than subtle control thru ki extension

a reply to a non -student about martial arts as a hobby or way of life, and his rejection of a teacher and want of an instructor

Posted in Uncategorized on June 11, 2017 by thebrutalityofreality

this is a reply to a non student,   he went thru interview for 2 years,  finally was in,  but 2 classes and he quit,   he struggles with commitment in so many ways,  he’s so smart, so intuitive, so talented,  but he cannot commit,   now he says in reference to a conversation with his mother that really upset him   that he knows he doesnt’ want a teacher,  only an instructor,  he states that a teacher “tells you what to do, like my mother’     but an instructor is not so absolute,

my correction is that he’s confusing “teacher” with bossy assholes.

a teacher guides,  points the student

i would strongly suggest after reading this,  if it’s interesting,    to read the article

teacher vs instructor,   just too much to type here,

he is projecting his failure with me to everything in his life,   struggling with his lack of commitment,  but as is always the case,  when someone fails in class,  there are no more excuses for their life and they are forced to see their weakness,   many times they change and are better for the experience,   but many times they just adopt a new doctrine of life that gives them permission for how they continue to live,  that’s what i see…….   he is now equating anyone who gives him advice,  to the teacher ,   which means he is defending himself to me,  stating,    he didnt’ want a teacher  and he only wants martial arts as a hobby,   he stated that a few weeks ago,   but prior to class he had admiration for me and my lifestyle,   and still does,  but no longer says he wants it,

now his defense is “instructor and hobby”

thru it all,  he comes over and helps me with my house projects,  meets me at gym, and now wants to start a dojo with me,   but he is not a student

he states frequently,   “you were right again,  i just didn’t see it,  but you are right again”,        but he feels hurt and failed,   so this is the answer      i tell him someday he’ll look back and wonder why he didnt’ do things differently    but that’s his age

32 and full of life

that’s the meat of it,   and this is my reply       thought it was worth posting,

seems to me    and i hope i’m not overstepping bounds

you take frustrations   things that make you feel bad   and make you feel like you failed at something

and i’ve notice you apply it to the teacher things

perhaps there is a much deeper reason     ,  no for your feelings with yioru mother

but for you  to press the teacher issue and tkd as a hobby

yet you say you want to teach

teaching is not a hobby   it’s either a business or a serious way of life

i see many things    ,   but i’ve known you long enough to know,

yiou do best with a given direcgtion    not a statement

so ,  and i mean this out of friendship,   thanks for yoru help

sometimes    we fight our emotions about A becasue it’s actuall G that’s bugging us

but you can’t see    b-f and you can never discover G

you have so much good insight,   but i know yo have to figure it out for yourself

my only message is that some day  you’ll look back,  kick yourself for not listening more,   doing things differently

and that’s the price of wisdom and age,

if you never look back and see you made mistakes,   thought of htings wrong    wonder why you pushed ones who cared away while keeping ones who weren’t friends    then you have never grown

if you dont’ look back and see things    that means you didnt’ grow  didn’t learn

problem is ,  by the time we learn it’s alwyas too late

think of a race,    the fuel you have is your own knowledge and also the knowledge of others

theres only enough life to go so far in the race,

if you have limited knowledge as most do     then you can only have a small fuel source to go a little way

if yo have great knowledge  because you are a good study and live a well placed life never wasting time and never letting things og

then you travel further    but still life is short and you can only travel so far

now if yiou take advice ,  knowledge from the wrong person   ,  you put that fuel in your tank and it contaminates everything making your trip even shorter than if you had just used your own fuel {knowledge}

the key is to use a sort of warp drive,  a worm hole,   a way to travel extra far in your short life

so you need a super fuel   {knowledge}   but that fuel is far beyond what you possess

so the key is to take advice from someone ,  take the knowledge , the fuel ,  to get you farther in the race

the problem is who you take the fuel from,    most will just shut your engine down and you won’t ever be able to repair it

but ifyou can find someone,  someone who is truly wise,   if that someone gives you knowledge , fuel, for your race and not the fuel they use for their own race,

then you have knowledge “fuel”   that you would never have gotten and if you did,   it would be when you are too old to be in the race

most advice sucks   you really have to rate the person giving it,    i would never give computer advice,   i dont’ have knowledge to give

i wouldt’ give web building advice,     just dont’ know

but the advice i give is because i’ve lived,  learned,   and know ,  absolutely, that i’m right

further more,   i’ve worked hard to be ‘the teacher”   ,    a “teacher”  will not contaminate the student with his own bias or scars,

the teacher must put aside his own “feelings”   and understand the “feelings” and emotional state of the student ,

only then can a teacher offer any advice, that can be used as fuel for the race of life

only good fuel will allow you to accelerate past your peers ,   to gain super speed and travel the farthest you can in the race of life,

but no matter how fast you travel,   no matter what you learn along the way,,      if you’ve lived a good life,   full of study and righteous deeds,   at the end,   you will see the race ended too fast,  you had sooooo much more to travel,   and so much more fuel,

you should realize that your fuel became stronger,   more efficient with age,    then you know you have learned

but if you get to the end of the race,  feel you traveled far enough,   if you dont’ see the infinite path that was still there to be traveled,  you have wasted your life,   your race,

if you were one of the many that just sat on the side of the road idle ,  putting things off till tomrrow,    then you never were in the race to begin with

in then end  ,  you have are heavy with sorrow that the race has ended,  not because you are scared of death, but because you know there was so much more to learn   ,  if in the end   your fuel is such a powerful mixture ,  so much so that the engine just can’t handle it,

then you have lived a good life   a good race,

the race ends way to quickly,    along the way    you must not stop too often to take in the sights,  that is time lost in traveling the road of life,   don’t spend too much time idle,    the end of the race comes long before you think

even if you still have life,   the engine just doesn’t work like it did when you were young

wisdom comes when the body is no longer able to make use of it.

drive fast,   don’t take too many naps,   and never ever sit idle while the others pass you…………


Posted in special forces training, body guard, judo, tai chi, punching, kicking, blocking, stick fighting, knife fighting, kung fu, ninjutsu,, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on May 22, 2017 by thebrutalityofreality

the conversation was about us getting old and how our lives have isolated us.   many of my articles discuss this,  he finally said  ,   in short,    we have earned the right to discard what we want,  because we have the experience to make the choice,

there was much more to the several hrs of discussion,  but that’s the meat of it,    i asked him to write something i could post ,  and here it is..     whether martial arts, or any thing you study,   if you require someone to learn from ,   shouldn’t you learn from someone who has at least as much experience as you wish to learn?    then why go to the corner dojo,  the commercial “business” ,  the day care center?   in the end,   it’s experience that gives us the scales to measure the truth.   the problem today is no one has much experience,  so the majority becomes the rule and the rule is not very experienced.   so people like my friend and myself are the small isolated group that is looked down upon  ,   we just don’t fit in because of “experience”  and “knowledge”

here’s his thoughts as it relates to the conversation of getting old and living a life where we never really fit in,  accept in a small circle.


“My pursuit, is the vehicle powered by passion that has brought me to knowledge and experience. That knowledge and experience gave birth to my objectivity. They entitle or perhaps provide me the right to now cast aside an opinion, a principal, a philosophy, one move, one method, or even an entire ‘art’- forever or temporarily.  At minimum I deserve, and I am allowed to decide for myself what I will value, what works, what is real, or what is useful.  No, I’m not arrogant, I am confident and courageous. 
My courage is fueled by respect and duty- that courage compels me to share, but it also tells me at times not to share.  That courage is to blame for why others will hear me say, ‘that is what remains, and it is mine’.
And yes, what I cast aside will always have value, I said aside, not away. I will keep it close. Maybe I will need to use them as a resource- maybe I see in them, subjectivity. You can’t have objectivity without knowledge and experience, so If and when I choose to share, I can’t think of an easier or other fair way to ‘recruit’ appeal to what I did not cast aside, but to be able to point out an example of what I see as subjective… a claim of objectivity is nothing of value without an example subjectivity.”  R.J. Tucker, with Anthony Carrano,2017.
another great reply in reference to a conversation about training for reality, whether it be combative or just a skill in life,    people train thru illusion.  They never seek the truth because the truth just slaps them in the face screaming loser.  The truth of the loser is that they always look for the easy way out.   Whether it be martial arts with the “3lbs of pressure can kill a person” bullshit or the any other skill,    only training for reality, in realistic scenarios will give the experience required to look objectively and see subjectively,  what you need and what is useless.
this great reply comes in reference to a training vid,  the participants talk about quick kills and one shot stops with punches that are just plain weak.   there is a method to training correctly and this reply pretty much sums up the way to look at it ……
Innate- what you were “born” with. That must be tempered with what you have learned – but if you have learned something you know as to be negative or non-productive.
-Merge Carnal & Temporal 
As the saying goes