a reply to a non -student about martial arts as a hobby or way of life, and his rejection of a teacher and want of an instructor

this is a reply to a non student,   he went thru interview for 2 years,  finally was in,  but 2 classes and he quit,   he struggles with commitment in so many ways,  he’s so smart, so intuitive, so talented,  but he cannot commit,   now he says in reference to a conversation with his mother that really upset him   that he knows he doesnt’ want a teacher,  only an instructor,  he states that a teacher “tells you what to do, like my mother’     but an instructor is not so absolute,

my correction is that he’s confusing “teacher” with bossy assholes.

a teacher guides,  points the student

i would strongly suggest after reading this,  if it’s interesting,    to read the article

teacher vs instructor,   just too much to type here,

he is projecting his failure with me to everything in his life,   struggling with his lack of commitment,  but as is always the case,  when someone fails in class,  there are no more excuses for their life and they are forced to see their weakness,   many times they change and are better for the experience,   but many times they just adopt a new doctrine of life that gives them permission for how they continue to live,  that’s what i see…….   he is now equating anyone who gives him advice,  to the teacher ,   which means he is defending himself to me,  stating,    he didnt’ want a teacher  and he only wants martial arts as a hobby,   he stated that a few weeks ago,   but prior to class he had admiration for me and my lifestyle,   and still does,  but no longer says he wants it,

now his defense is “instructor and hobby”

thru it all,  he comes over and helps me with my house projects,  meets me at gym, and now wants to start a dojo with me,   but he is not a student

he states frequently,   “you were right again,  i just didn’t see it,  but you are right again”,        but he feels hurt and failed,   so this is the answer      i tell him someday he’ll look back and wonder why he didnt’ do things differently    but that’s his age

32 and full of life

that’s the meat of it,   and this is my reply       thought it was worth posting,

seems to me    and i hope i’m not overstepping bounds

you take frustrations   things that make you feel bad   and make you feel like you failed at something

and i’ve notice you apply it to the teacher things

perhaps there is a much deeper reason     ,  no for your feelings with yioru mother

but for you  to press the teacher issue and tkd as a hobby

yet you say you want to teach

teaching is not a hobby   it’s either a business or a serious way of life

i see many things    ,   but i’ve known you long enough to know,

yiou do best with a given direcgtion    not a statement

so ,  and i mean this out of friendship,   thanks for yoru help

sometimes    we fight our emotions about A becasue it’s actuall G that’s bugging us

but you can’t see    b-f and you can never discover G

you have so much good insight,   but i know yo have to figure it out for yourself

my only message is that some day  you’ll look back,  kick yourself for not listening more,   doing things differently

and that’s the price of wisdom and age,

if you never look back and see you made mistakes,   thought of htings wrong    wonder why you pushed ones who cared away while keeping ones who weren’t friends    then you have never grown

if you dont’ look back and see things    that means you didnt’ grow  didn’t learn

problem is ,  by the time we learn it’s alwyas too late

think of a race,    the fuel you have is your own knowledge and also the knowledge of others

theres only enough life to go so far in the race,

if you have limited knowledge as most do     then you can only have a small fuel source to go a little way

if yo have great knowledge  because you are a good study and live a well placed life never wasting time and never letting things og

then you travel further    but still life is short and you can only travel so far

now if yiou take advice ,  knowledge from the wrong person   ,  you put that fuel in your tank and it contaminates everything making your trip even shorter than if you had just used your own fuel {knowledge}

the key is to use a sort of warp drive,  a worm hole,   a way to travel extra far in your short life

so you need a super fuel   {knowledge}   but that fuel is far beyond what you possess

so the key is to take advice from someone ,  take the knowledge , the fuel ,  to get you farther in the race

the problem is who you take the fuel from,    most will just shut your engine down and you won’t ever be able to repair it

but ifyou can find someone,  someone who is truly wise,   if that someone gives you knowledge , fuel, for your race and not the fuel they use for their own race,

then you have knowledge “fuel”   that you would never have gotten and if you did,   it would be when you are too old to be in the race

most advice sucks   you really have to rate the person giving it,    i would never give computer advice,   i dont’ have knowledge to give

i wouldt’ give web building advice,     just dont’ know

but the advice i give is because i’ve lived,  learned,   and know ,  absolutely, that i’m right

further more,   i’ve worked hard to be ‘the teacher”   ,    a “teacher”  will not contaminate the student with his own bias or scars,

the teacher must put aside his own “feelings”   and understand the “feelings” and emotional state of the student ,

only then can a teacher offer any advice, that can be used as fuel for the race of life

only good fuel will allow you to accelerate past your peers ,   to gain super speed and travel the farthest you can in the race of life,

but no matter how fast you travel,   no matter what you learn along the way,,      if you’ve lived a good life,   full of study and righteous deeds,   at the end,   you will see the race ended too fast,  you had sooooo much more to travel,   and so much more fuel,

you should realize that your fuel became stronger,   more efficient with age,    then you know you have learned

but if you get to the end of the race,  feel you traveled far enough,   if you dont’ see the infinite path that was still there to be traveled,  you have wasted your life,   your race,

if you were one of the many that just sat on the side of the road idle ,  putting things off till tomrrow,    then you never were in the race to begin with

in then end  ,  you have are heavy with sorrow that the race has ended,  not because you are scared of death, but because you know there was so much more to learn   ,  if in the end   your fuel is such a powerful mixture ,  so much so that the engine just can’t handle it,

then you have lived a good life   a good race,

the race ends way to quickly,    along the way    you must not stop too often to take in the sights,  that is time lost in traveling the road of life,   don’t spend too much time idle,    the end of the race comes long before you think

even if you still have life,   the engine just doesn’t work like it did when you were young

wisdom comes when the body is no longer able to make use of it.

drive fast,   don’t take too many naps,   and never ever sit idle while the others pass you…………

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